I'm going to jail soon. Gonna lose all my freedom. Well, it's just an expression after not working for a long time. Going to work now is really like going to jail. To recall, my last job was one WHOLE FREAKING YEAR ago. Gonna start work in OCBC today at 9am. How sad. But can eat Beef Organs Noodles everyday. Yay.
Well getting this job is really gruesome. So before I tell u guys the story, here is the Top 5 Things You Need to Look For A Job.
No. 1- An American Next Top Model Portfolio stuffed with your naked pictures. In another words your compilations of certificates. In total of 38 "naked pictures".
No. 2- A handphone so that they can interview you through that.
No. 3- A stripper suit. (A formal wear la.)
No. 4- A photocopy of your certificates and IC.
No. 5- Your mouth to make tonnes of lies and brag about yourself in the boardroom.
N0. 6- A PC which is log on to http://www.jobstreet.com.
No. 7- And your highly self-praised Resume and Co-curricular Vitae
Okay, now to the story of how I got a job in OCBC. I went through this consulting group called the Monroe Consulting Group and they got me a job there with a pretty high pay but its 6 months contract. So I was damn excited of it. Then the competitions are those degree and diploma holders ( but honestly I think they have problems to even speak in English). I'm so evil, but they really can't even present themselves. I mean I'm not even good in English yet there are degree holders which is worse than me. So, when the consultant said that we are the shortlisted ones and we are the best of the best. Me and Jervis look at each other. Haha what a joke.
Then when I was in the interview, they said they are not looking for an A-level student. At least a diploma. But they say they still wants me and offer me a very very low pay. So I rejected and she say she shall discuss with her HR department. Days later she called me and told me that she is giving me this average pay with 6 months contract, but its just okay la. So, I say I got a better offer and without the contract, so she got dulan and say nevermind then. I'm perfectly alright with that. So they cancel my applications.
Then hours later, she called me again and told me that OCBC seriously wants me. In my heart was like, YAY!!! So they gave me and increment and only 3 months contract. So they will increase my pay even more anytime. Well so this is the story of it and I'm gonna work in around 6 hours time. So what is the moral of the story?